4. A Freakin' Waiver?

Act I Scene 1.2
Back at the restaurant in the Bucksmore Luxuriously Wonderful, but Absolutely Discreet Resort.
Bang! Bang! More gunshots stage right.
Lights up...
Amae, eyes wide, pulls herself tightly against Big Willie.

AMAE
Please tell me that was a backfire!

WAITER
I'll tell you anything you want,
sweetcheeks,
but that was probably a trey-eighty.
There are a lot of them in this neighborhood.

AMAEA
trey-eighty?
Sounds awfully weighty
Is that a truck of some kind?

BIG WILLIE
Sounds more like a car.
Something sporty perhaps

Bang! Bang! More shots, stage right

BIG WILLIE
No, that's nothing exotic
But one of those cheap little sedans
that people drive themselves.

AMAE
No!
That cannot be true
There are people who drive their own cars?

WAITER
(aside)
Idiots...
A gun
A gun
A big honkin' gun
(cocks his index finger at Amae)
You know a gun...
bang, bang.

AMAE
(dives under the table)
It cannot be!
Not here!
Not now!
Interrupting our supper
when I haven't even had my appetizer!

BIG WILLIE
Well damn it then, son
You'd better call the police

WAITER
(sings)
He wants me to call the police!
He wants me to call the cops!
Just drop what I'm doing
and run to the phone
and like that! the shooting just stops

But there are no police in this burg
Not a single flatfoot on the streets
They all went away
to a city that pays
Enough for their families to eat

BIG WILLIE
Never mind then
Surely we're safe in here
(he looks under the table)
Please come out my dear.

AMAE
(crying)
No I won't
I want to go home

BIG WILLIE
Then stay where you are for now I'll order for both of us
(to the Waiter)
Take our order now
And be quick about it

WAITER
(puts a piece of paper in front of Willie)
'Er... in a moment sir,
but first,
the waiver...

BIG WILLIE
Waiver?
A Freakin' Waiver?
A Freakin' Waiver for What?

WAITER
In case there is a problem with the food
and you find you need medical care
You see the emergency medical people
won't work for minimum wage
Most have left the city,
and some...
like I (winks at the audience)
have taken up the stage.

Big Willie waves the waiter away and ponders the situation. He looks at Amae, still under the table.

BIG WILLIE
Uh, while you're down there...

Lights fade...